The nonexistent disorder
by sacha-lee
Summary: What happens when Charlie finally notices that Edward had never eaten in front of him? He takes things into his own hands. ExB HUMOUR. I know anorexia is serious.... but I just couldn't help myself.
1. Chapter 1

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**Bella's Point Of View**

Edward smiled as he kissed me on the cheek, and excused himself whilst Charlie and I ate dinner. Charlie frowned at his back. "What did you have for dinner last night, Edward?" He asked.

Edward turned around slowly, smiling. "Cheese and Mac."

"No." Charlie replied. "That's what _we_ had."

He chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. "What a small world, huh?"

"Sit. Bella, get another plate out for him." Charlie ordered. I rolled my eyes.

"Charlie, I hate to impose, but this is yours and Bella's personal time to yourselves."

"Nonsense. You must be starving, and you did help Bella make it."

"Esme's probably got dinner already waiting for me at home, Charlie." Edward protested. Charlie sent him a glare and he reluctantly sat down at the dinner table.

I mouthed 'I'm sorry' to Edward, but he just shook his head with a small smile on his face. I placed a plate in front of Edward with a small helping of the spaghetti. I sighed, placing the **FORKS (IM ACTUALLY LITERALLY ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING AT THIS.)** in the middle of the table, and kissed the top of Edwards head from behind before sitting in my seat.

Charlie had his eyes trained on Edward, as Edward brought the fork up to his lips, with only a string of pasta. I felt like kicking Charlie's leg under the table so he'd look away, even if it was for a second, so then Edward could hide it somewhere.... so I decided to take action.

I whacked my foot into Charlie's chair, making the leg snap underneath him, and Charlie go plummeting towards the ground. "Whoops." I mumbled embarrassed.

Charlie scowled at me, and decided to just lean against the kitchen wall eating.... and of course glaring at Edward.

Edward placed the fork back into the pasta, then into his mouth, and I could see him swallow it whole, grimacing as it went down. "Don't forget to chew." Charlie mentioned, I looked back to Charlie, him still glaring at Edward. I rolled my eyes and took a forkful of mine.

Edward took another forkful, this time chewing slowly for Charlie's sake then swallowing.

I watched in astonishment as Edward cleared his plate, then excused himself for the toilet.

Charlie ran up the stairs and I followed after at a slower pace.

Edward was bent over the toilet, wrenching up the load of human food Charlie had forced him to eat.

Charlie stood in utter disbelief. "I KNEW IT!" He shouted. "I'm going to get you the help you need." Charlie assured Edward, patting him on the shoulder.

"Waheyyyy." Edward muttered sarcastically. "I don't think I'll be joining you for dinner in a while."

**REVIEWWWW, I LOVE REVIEWS3**

_A/N no offence to anorexic assholes out there._

_Lol, I really fuck up apologies, don't I?_

_But this story was hilarious to write._


	2. Chapter 2

In reply to the person who kept themselves anonymous, you really aren't that much of a twilight fan if you don't understand that the Cullens would have to make themselves throw up if they ate human food.

If your dad really is a doctor, you'd know that anorexics usually throw up after eating, or excessively exercise. I think someone's telling porkies. _-hint hint-_

And 'cursing without reason' what on Earth? There is not ONE swear word in this, even if there was, it's rated T, which isn't for twelve y/o's.

Please don't leave critical reviews when you don't know what you're talking about, you just sound like some cocky little kid. Sorry. '_I would know_' -_scoffs- _If you want people to take you seriously, make a proper account, staying anonymous is a chicken thing to do.


	3. Chapter 3

Confesssion-

just over 2 years ago was when I uploaded 'my' first story, it was about the Cullens returning to forks after breaking dawn

since then i've deleted that story

why?

Because the story was crap, the plot was awful and my writing was just complete bull shit

only when 'I' had started writing other stories did people take interest in my work

truth is, they weren't my stories to publish

they never were meant to be published on a website like this

I had been emailing a friend, who didnt like twilight but liked the characters and setting, minus the vampires and werewolves

she began writing stories with different plots in emails, just to entertain me, and I abused whatever trust she had in me by posting them on here

a lot of stuff was going on in my life and I craved the attention

I will no longer be posting or updating anything on this site

im really sorry to every one this has effected

you can message me on here or email me if you'd like

sachay (at) hotmail (dot) co (dot) uk


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